


Tired of Being Tired

by Fandoms_R_Fun



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23923636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandoms_R_Fun/pseuds/Fandoms_R_Fun
Summary: Warning: Themes of LGBTQ+ discrimination.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Tired of Being Tired

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Themes of LGBTQ+ discrimination.

I feel the slow, deep ache fill my head and chest, the pain shooting down my jaw and even into my shoulders and down to my fingers. I look at the mess everywhere, things broken and overturned, a few dents in things, and even a few smears of blood here and there. I reach over and sit in my chair, turning towards the desk and picking up my pen. I let it hover over the paper and wait for something to come...

My Name is Max Caulfield, I'm tired of being tired...

_I'm tired of being tired. I look around all day and I see that, no matter what, I always come up short._

_I'm tired of being tired. Every day that Chloe looks at me from across the room and doesn't even see me for who I am, I feel myself always begin to shrink._

_I'm tired of being tired. With every hour of every day I slowly begin my march towards the time where I will see my last sunrise and sunset, I will say my last word, think my last thought, and breathe my final breaths, but I can't get anything done._

_I'm tired of being tired. Every day that passes and I see the looks in people's eyes, watching their eyes scan me over and look into my soul to pass judgement on my existence, as if it was their **DAMN** right to think that they know anything about me!_

_I'm tired of being tired. Every second that I look in the mirror and I see something looking back at me that isn't who I am, I can feel the sickening churning of my stomach and wish that I could just tear apart what I can see. I wish I could tear my face from it's gasp and keep it from being used against me._

_I'm tired of being made to hold it all in. I'm tired of looking down on myself every time I almost show a trace of what I am.... who I am.... and I'm tired of always having to pretend to be such a different person around others than I am away from them._

_My name is Max Caulfield and I'm tired of being Maxwell Caulfield_

_My name is Maxwell Caulfield..._

_and I'm tired of not being Maxine Caulfield..._

_My name is Maxine Caulfield..._

_and I'm tired of hiding who I am._

The final period is bold, going deep into the paper. I look it over, thinking about what I've wanted to do for a very long time. My heart racing and my body aching, I look around desperately for what I'm looking for. I know that everything is a complete mess but I'm an adult, this is my apartment, and I don't care if I have to clean up for a few days, there are more important matters to attend to...

I eventually rush towards the door and pull out my phone, sending out a message that makes my heart race even more.

_**Maxwell: Yo, Chloe, I gotta get some fresh air. Mind if I come over?** _

_**Chloe: Nahh, come on down. I'll leave the door unlocked. Just lock it up when you get in.** _

=================================

I take a deep, shuddering breath as turn the knob to Chloe's apartment. I feel really stupid and start having second thoughts as I slip inside, looking around and seeing the lamp on in the living room.

 _Get yourself together! Chloe isn't going to judge. At least hopefully_ _not_....

"Well hello to you too. You moonlighting as a detective, or did you pick up selling fake watches on the street corner?" I slowly turn from taking off my shoes and see Chloe leaning up against the wall, a cup of tea in her hands. I see her smile turn into concern as she looks at me, her eyes widening a bit. "Hey, Max... you okay?" She takes a few steps forward and then I hold my hand out, seeing how bad I'm shaking. I shiver hard and take a deep breath, retracing my plan in my head for a second.

I adjust my ski mask and sunglasses, moving my hand infront of me to sign to Chloe: Go to your room and just trust me. I'll be there in a moment.

Chloe raises an eyebrow and then chuckles. "Alright man, I'll do that. But you'd better behave, I know you're up to something. I can smell it...." She walks into the next room and shuts the door. I can hear her lean against it and start humming to herself.

_Okay.... here's to hoping she's as open minded as I think..._

I toss my trench coat and ski mask on the couch, moving over and knocking on the door. I can hear Chloe set down her tea cup and the door opens. "Now will you tell me what's going on Ma-." Chloe stops herself and freezes, very slowly looking me over. I can feel her eyes digging into my flesh and I can almost hear the cogs in her head turning as she figures out what's going on. "D-d-dude. I-is this some kind of joke or something...?"

I take a deep breath and straighten my skirt slightly. "N-no Chloe... I'm trans..." Chloe examines my skirt and tee shirt. I'm also wearing stalkings and some Doe shaped earrings. We stand there in silence for a moment, Chloe looking me over and my anxiety building beyond what I can handle. I close my eyes tight and hold my wrist, waiting for the screams and hatred to pour out of Chloe.

=================================

_"You worthless piece of shit, I didn't raise a stupid tranny faggot!" I feel her palm slam into my face, sending my head smashing into the counter top._

_I regain my footing, feeling my head throb and ache. "I'm not into men, mom. Just because I want to transition doesn't mean-" Another hard slap connects with the side of my face, but this time I barely hold my footing._

_"You're one of those worthless queers and you have no place in this house. You're shaming our family name and you make me fucking SICK!" She hits me again and I just take it, not seeing any way out of it but to just deal with this. "You don't deserve your great grandmother's name and you don't even deserve to be a Caulfield." She reaches over and grabs my plate of dinner, whipping it across the room and it shatters against the wall. "You have 10 minutes. You grab your bag and put in whatever you're taking with you. You're leaving my fucking house and once you walk out that door, you're not MY GOD DAMNED SON AND YOU NEVER STEP FOOT ON MY PROPERTY AGAIN! DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME!!!" She screams at the top of her lungs and I just leave, walking out of the dining room and up to my bedroom._

_I grab my backpack and duffel bag, packing them with the clothes that I need, some keepsakes, and my teddy bear. I make sure that I have my wallet, phone, my laptop, and I clear all of my important documents out of my desk. When I get down stairs, I check my watch and see that I have another minute left. I see the woman that gave birth to me, standing in the dining room doorway with her arms crossed. I open the door and begin stepping out, looking back at her before I go. I glare into her eyes, seeing the seething hatred within them. "You never had a son..." I spit on the floor and walk out, going to my cheap car that I saved up for and throw my bags in the back. I start the engine and peel away before she can come back with more hate..._

======================================

I tense up as I feel someone holding onto me. I squeak in surprise and open my eyes, tears spilling out and notice Chloe holding me in a bear hug. "How come you never told me...?"

"T-tell you what....?" I begin to shiver and more tears spill out, but I just hold Chloe closer.

"That you were trans..." She slowly begins rubbing my back and I feel a calm slowly overtake me. "You know I wouldn't have judged you, right...? I can hear her voice trail off at the end and realize that she is shaking a little, her emotions showing through.

"That's what I thought when I told the thing that brought me into this world. Apparently a mother's lover does have it's limits..."

Chloe pulls back and looks me in the eye, a single tear brimming on the edge of hers. "Not a good one, Ma-..." She stops and sniffles for a moment, obviously trying not to get any more emotional. "W-what is your preferred name?"

I slowly reach over and wipe the tear away, making her smile. "I prefer something Max-ish... Maxine is really formal though, so you might wanna find something closer to our style. I know how you love your nicknames."

Chloe chuckles and nods happily. "That I do. You'll have more names than any 100 women in the world!" We both grin and Chloe begins to notice my hand lingering on her cheek. "So, Maximus Prime...." We both chuckle and she takes a deep breath. "... is there anything else you wanna mention....?"

I sigh, looking down and then back up at Chloe. "Well, you can see that I shave regularly, and I know that my voice has always been higher than some of the guys, but going on HRT will make that even more so.... and....." I bite my lip and feel myself begin to shiver a little. "...and umm... I think that I might have fallen for someone." I let go of her cheek and look down at the floor. "She has blue hair and she is the best person I've ever know. I don't deserve her in the least bu-" I get cut off by Chloe's lips pressed against mine. "C-chloe...?"

"I've always liked you, Maxamillion. Since the day we met I've seen you and known that there was more to you. I've seen through some of the BS that you throw out there for people, but if you're anything like the way you are when we're alone..." She leans in closer, brushing some wrinkles out of my shirt. "...then you're someone I'd want to be with until my last breath." I try to say something but nothing comes out save for a few weird sounds. "You're kind, you're caring, and you put in so much effort to help others. I remember when you stayed up, after an all nighter of studying, to sit up and drink tea with Kate for _hours_ just to listen to what was happening in her life that was getting down so much. You were there for all of your friends. And... you were there for me when no one else was...." Chloe places her hands on my shoulders and kisses my forehead. "You mean so much to me, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. So, I'll ask you a question..." She places her hands on mine, holding them close to her heart. "Maxine, will you do me a great honor, and go out with me. You can feel free to say no and we can just go back to how things have been and I can-." This time, it's my lips that stop her from finishing a sentence.

When my lungs burn and I can't take it anymore, I pull back and gasp for breath. "Yes, I'll go out with you." We both smile and she takes my hand, pulling me into her room and patting the bedside. We both sit down and just look at each other, our eyes becoming fixed on each other. "I never thought I would come out and gain something better than disgust..."

Chloe nods slowly, having a hard time responding. "You know, I'd like to learn more about your reality and the bad things that you've had to deal with, but..." She stands up and closes the door to her room, stretching and turning off the overhead light, leaving only the lamp on. "...that's a conversation for another day. How about we cuddle and catch a few Z's. We can talk more in the morning. I can tell you need some more happy thoughts right now."

I giggle, nodding slowly and laying down, looking at Chloe for a moment. "Yeah... Hey, do you mind if I borrow some PJ's?"

Chloe rolls her eyes and nods. "Of course cutie, what's mine is yours and all that romantic stuff. You can just grab some sweats out of the closet." I get up and grab some, changing into her sweat pants and setting my skirt on the chair in her room along with my stalkings and earrings. I lay down next to her again and she pulls me close, planting some kisses on me as I relax in her arms. The world slowly fades away until Chloe is the center of my universe.

_My Name is Maxine Caulfield and, to one person at least, I am my true self..._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Everyone. I hope that all of you are safe and sound. Thank you for reading and as always, until next time...
> 
> Read On.


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